i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
