I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
