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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
