My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
