no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
