i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
