I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
