I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
