just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
