It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
