Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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