oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Couch. On fire.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
