Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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