Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
