I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
