Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
