So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
