i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
