Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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