I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
