So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
