Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
