dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
