READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
