some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
