He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
