Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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