there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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