Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
