That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
