just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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