You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
