So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
