It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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