I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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