I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
