im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
