so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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