Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
