Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
