it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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