I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
