I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
