She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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