Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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