can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
