girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
