well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
