i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
