i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
